Let Me See What Life is Like
by ShinyKendo
Summary: CHAP. 2: Adell and Laharl meet in an unfamiliar world. Axel gets his own reality show about flipping houses. An innocent girl is arrested. The destruction of a continent. The arrival of a planet. What can I say to try and convince you to read this crap?
1. Chapter 1

WARNING: this story will probably go against some of/most of/all established canon it comes across. So...don't ask why or you won't get an answer.

((On a side note, am I working on any other stories I've already started? ...Maybe. Shrug.))

((Second side note: Whenever, and I mean WHENEVER I try using ! and ? at the same time, it deletes one of them. If you say "do you doubt me!" or "why! ?" or something, just know...ehh, yeah. How do I fix this? DO I fix this? Anyways...))

* * *

Weapons clashed in every direction, producing awe-inspiring sparks that crackled and flashed in the air. They leaped back and forth, to and fro, countering every counter with a counter-counter, and that with a counter-counter-counter. If anyone happened to be watching the fight, they might have been driven to tears by this awe-inspiring, fearless display. None bothered to wear masks or protective gear, proving that fencing was, in the right circumstances, risky business.

The taller character stopped mid-match. "You're pretty good," he said. "Let's take a break for a while."

The shorter, hairier character tossed his sabre carelessly backward. "Heh! Fine, we'll stop if you want to be spared. I was only getting started!" he remarked.

The two walked over to the couch waiting for them on the tennis court. "Say," the taller one said, "how did you come to fence against me again?"

"Well...it's a long story, but to make said long story short, it's because I'm about to marry a doorknob."

"Oh. But how'd you get to that?"

"Well...I'm not telling you _that_ story!"

**LET ME SEE WHAT LIFE IS LIKE | CHAPTER ONE: FIRST CHAPTER**

"And then you put this hand here...put that foot here...and put your hair like that!"

He held the black electric guitar unsteadily yet perfectly. "Uh, Flonne..."

"Yay!" She clapped, blond hair and blue hairbow flailing.

His small hands began to shake. "This...this is INSIPIIIIID!" He lifted it above his head and threw it back to the ground. It exploded into a million pieces. "How exactly will being able to play this STUPID instrument grant me my rightful title of Overlord!"

"I know there's a heart somewhere in there," she sobbed, and the angel stormed off.

"Feh!" the boy scoffed, letting his blue hair antennae and long red scarf flow in the castle draft. "Flonne and her lousy ideas. This isn't getting me anywhere!"

A more scantily-clad girl leaned against a nearby pillar. "I like your style, prince," she said, "but can you really defeat all the competition for the throne?"

"Sure I can! Are you doubting me, Etna! ?"

"Of course not!" She stayed on his good side. "But we don't know who's out there, trying to ambush us. If you ask me, you should try to take them all out at once, if you're that confident."

"Fine! I'll show you a true Overlord's power!" He pulled a pen and a piece of parchment out from his back pocket, and began to scribble down something, red eyes darting back and forth along the letters. "And when they see this, they'll..."

Just then, interrupting his writing, two endearingly penguin-like Prinny creatures stormed in on their wooden peg legs! "Hey, doods!" they cried.

"What is it?" Laharl screeched.

"Emergency in the Prinny recreation room!" they wailed, wiggling their flipper arms around. "There's..._something_ in there! Come quick!"

"Here's a good chance for me to prove myself to you," he said to Etna, dropping his things and unsheathing a sword from out of nowhere.

"I'll be right behind ya, prince!" She pulled out her own weapon: a spear.

Flonne hurried back to them with a bow and a couple of arrows, looking serious. "We'll handle it," she huffed.

"No, the thing is..." The Prinny sweatdropped. "Your weapons won't do a thing to help, doods!"

Laharl got up close to his face, looking furious. "Do you doubt me, too, Webster?"

"N-no, that's not it!" his partner Prinny Flappy interrupted. "You just have to come and see, dood! Just follow us!"

"Ignore that," Laharl insisted, even as Flonne dropped her stuff. "Charge ahead, full force!"

They ran off, in the opposite direction of the countless demons and monsters fleeing the scene. You'd think there would be a path to destruction leading to their eventual opponent, but they found none. Flappy and Webster pointed to the location, too scared to go in themselves. And now they were about to enter the small, decimated Prinny recreation room...

A white blob had crashed into the room, scattering books and tables. Below it the thing seemed to stretch down even farther, probably obviously into other castle corridors below that level. Was it just a big, dumb object?

"What the hell is this?" Etna wondered. She poked it a bit with her spear before just poking it. "It's not scary at all."

"So? Wh-what's it feel like?" Flonne asked.

"...I dunno. Just a blob, I guess. You can touch it if you'd like."

She pushed her hand in, finding it surprisingly easy to. Flonne pulled it out and watched liquid-like material drip from her fingers and regenerate on the...thing. "Wow! It's so soft and weird! I still have no idea what it could be..."

"It's just something else in my way," Laharl insisted bitterly. "Move out of the way so I can destroy it! Then we'll get started on repairing the place." Etna and Flonne followed his command, backing up. In one flashy movement, Laharl sprinted ahead with his Blade Rush attack, determined to let no dumb obstacle stand in his way.

_**What happened? Where is he? What is this feeling?**_

_**Laharl is suddenly drifting in the depths of a red, expansive ocean. He might feel at peace here, if not for one thing. He assumes he cannot breathe, and promptly attempts to escape. These attempts only send him drifting farther into the sea of red, gasping for air and reaching hopelessly for an exit. In this endless ocean, can he ever leave?**_

_**Strange, this water seems breatheable. He thinks he could never get used to breathing this stuff, which fills him with the nagging sensation of drowning. The fear seems far more fearsome than it ever had been. Why?**_

"..." Etna spelled out a pause. The girls were left to watch this blob, in the hopes of seeing Laharl escape. Eventually. "I'm going in after him," she said, and fell in backwards with a bored expression.

Now Flonne wished she'd brought her weaponry. "I'm coming in after you!" she yelled, leaping into it.

**_Would Laharl be left here to ponder the meaning of life and death forever? Or would he-_**

**_Is his aimless drifting coming to an end? Oh, finally, a stop to this. And is this light ahead of him? Better than seeing so much blood red around him..._**

"Ah!" He took a deep breath of real air, falling out of the strange ocean. Somehow Laharl was levitating, and somehow he was looking straight at a huge, black orb. It glowed with some sort of white energy. Could it be that energy which had pulled him to this place?

Laharl drifted toward this power, holding his palm to it...but a voice held him back.

"Laharl!" Flonne cried, falling into the air-filled void. "Here, come back out with us!" Etna followed close behind, looking around.

"Not just yet," he said. "Whatever this thing is, it...interests me. I have a feeling I should touch it or something. So let me!"

"Really?" Etna's pointy ears perked. Not sure of what else to do, she followed him at the fastest slow pace she could take. "This place is interesting."

"It seems kind of fun," Flonne said, zigzagging next to Etna.

"Y-you get away from me! This orb is mine!" Laharl bickered, struggling to try and levitate faster. Somehow he figured that me must reach the orb first.

After a slow, pointless scene, all three of them touched the orb at once, becoming blinded by its light.

_VOOSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH_

This energy, given to the three of them, now pulsing through their veins. Was this ultimate power? It felt to each of them like the power of many; millions, perhaps billions. And it was handed to them so simply.

A very faint aura surrounded the huge, solid mass of unknown matter now. They must have absorbed it.

"This...is **awesome!**" Laharl laughed an evil laugh! "Aaaahahahahahahaaaa! I can feel it in every fiber of my being! Yes, this must be-" He looked at the other two. "Wait...didn't you steal some of the power, too?"

"Mmhm." Etna put it bluntly.

"Yep!" Flonne clenched her fists.

"You..." He looked downward. "Well, you've got it now. Beating the power out of you would be pointless, especially if I assume you two have been given _equal_ power." As much as he felt like being brash...

"Look on the bright side, prince," Etna said, floating a bit closer. "This way we can be a more balanced team, and maybe beat people up easier."

"I wanted to rule alone."

As they were talking, Flonne spent her time poking the orb some more. Under her influence, the thing began to morph! "Hey, everyone!"

A Prinny, probably Flappy or Webster, headed up the tower stairs. Whatever was going on here, someone had to try and find out.

He peered over the edge of the castle tower, shocked. The white...thing blocked everything else in front of him from view. Obviously this was something that was very, very large. What would it do to them all!

In one sudden, jerking movement, the thing seemed to fly up and away. Webster/Flappy looked around. There it was, in the distance and to his left! It was tall enough to fade into the clouds above and the inferno below. Was that a...a torso?

"OH MY GOD, DOOD!"

She sprouted "wings" - the vector-like framework of several four-sided, insectoid wings. She flapped them once or twice, as if they would stir wind, and then she took off, high into the black and starry skies of space.

"WHAT THE F***, DOOD, WHAT THE F***!" Had he gone mad! Flappy or Webster stumbled down the stairs.

The black mass had become a control room, complete with typical piloting mechanisms and a screen displaying the vastness ahead! "Full speed ahead!" Flonne cried, putting her all into this!

"What's happening! Was this all just some sort of spaceship!" Etna yelled as she watched the screen.

"Impossible...but I could arguably use the opportunity to sharpen my newfound skills!" Laharl decided.

"APPROACHING WARP SPEE-wait, who are you?" a wimpy voice said from out of some speakers.

Etna turned a knob. "Wonder what this does."

"WAIT NO WHAT ARE YOU-" The voice was turned off.

Flonne leaned closer to the monitor. "Everything's getting blurry! This must be what that voice called..._warp speed!_"

He asked, "What's that?"

"It means get ready to go really really fast!"

She flew through space so fast, she literally broke the fabric of their reality. It ripped like fragile fabric through her huge white hair...like nothing. Beyond them was even more blinding light, and through there, a circular entrance to the next universe over.

"W-wow!" Flonne made a point of showing her amazement! "What could be in there!"

"Let's go ahead and find out!" Etna leaned on he shoulders, eager to watch what would happen next.

"I enter this new world...as the Overlord!"

She bounced off of a clump of ice, flew through a ring of asteroids, was forced past raging storms and made a crash landing on red soil. Her wings flickered and faded out, leaving her arm outstretched toward the planet nearby.

Flonne let go of the controls. "This might just be it! Our destination!"

"This should be interesting," Laharl said.

"Ooh!" Etna looked over at the screen again. "...But the screen says we're still in space, so we'll obviously have to get out again. And who knows how long THAT'LL take..."

"Easy...easy..."

_KRASH BOOM BAM_

"Oh, this is perfect!"

"Are you sure it's perfect, Flonne?" Etna said, looking at the monitor. "We're sinking into some kind of ocean, it looks like."

"Who cares? I've gotta test my strength on something!" Laharl flew out of the control room, heading out of the weird ship.

"W-wait for me!" Flonne chased after him.

"Eh," Etna shrugged, deciding there was nothing better to do in here, and followed.

The three of them dashed straight through her huge and gooey back, making a safe landing on some beach. Compared to the first time they tried that, it was no time at all!

"Wowie wow wow!" was Flonne's reaction! "I wonder what else I can do!" She started running around in circles at a blindingly-fast speed! "This is awesome!"

Laharl chuckled. "You think a superpower can beat whatever _I_ can do? Heh! Try this! Super Something Attack!" Several comet-shaped shards of ice appeared in the skies above him. "Die!" With a movement of his arms, the ice crashed down on a large cluster of typical palm trees, obliterating them. "Ha! You two can't beat THAT, I bet!"

Etna stood in front of a rather large pile of ashes. "I burned some when you weren't looking."

"Hmph! Seeing is believing. It doesn't count!"

Flonne's angel wings had grown huge! "Look what I can do!"

"That's nice...but not nice enough!" He turned around to talk to himself. "It's just proof that I've got the power in this trio! And when I get back, I'll show _them_ who's the Overlord!" The others heard him easily.

"Oh, really, now?" Etna challenged. "Well, good to have reinforcements, right?"

"Right," he admitted. "A king can't be without his trusty vassals and servants!"

"So I was thinking, prince, maybe we should all three explore some and work on our powers. They're probably amazing, but we don't have a handle on them yet. Plus, maybe we could find some great souvenirs! Then we'll come back to the...ship, after having such a good time doing all of that!"

"That sounds great!" Flonne decided.

Maybe getting away from Flonne and Etna would give Laharl a chance to forget that this great power was given to the three of them, and not just him 'cause he was kind of self-centered. "That's a great idea, Etna!" he exclaimed. "We'll all go our separate ways until then! Uh...until when?"

"Until whenever?" Flonne guessed.

"Yeah, that," Etna agreed. "Let's treat this like a vacation and forget all about the chaos that must be happening back home! Seeya!" She ran off.

"Bye~!" Flonne flew away.

Well...he'd forgotten all about that in the commotion, but at least his newfound powers can surely whip the competition into shape! "Good riddance," he mumbled when the coast was clear. "While you're gone, I'll...I'll just...go on without you guys!" He wandered off, in search of mindless destruction.

"And now it's time for a special episode of Oprah," Oprah's voice said as the screen featured her name. The audience clapped as the woman herself appeared, sitting on a chair next to some other guy.

As the applause settled down, she said, "I know the question on everybody's minds today, and that question is, what could that _thing_ that landed on the coast of Chile possibly be? Scientists are still running their tests, but the real mystery is in its appearance. Nobody knows why, but it seems to be in the shape of a young anime-style girl. While you might think that's the end of _that_ mystery, there's yet another factorto consider: that stylized anime girl is also one of the characters in the anime Neon Genesis Evangelion, named Rei. Luckily the creator of said anime learned perfect English just in time to see us. Please welcome series creator Hideaki Anno."

"Thank you," the man sitting in a chair next to her said as the audience applauded.

"First of all, have you been sending telepathic messages to any aliens out there that could have created this thing?" Oprah asked. "I know that would be ridiculous in any other situation to ask, but really, it's not that far out there anymore."

"No. I keep telling you, I had NO part in this. All I can say is that maybe my anime was so popular that even the aliens in outer space are watching it. Or maybe they're reading it, since there's a graphic novel, too."

"...I was hoping it'd go somewhere from there, but I don't have any more questions for you. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, it's fine. I've got another fifty or so interviews afte this, anyways." Oprah laughed. "I'm serious."

"Oh, really? So sorry you'll have to repeat the same answer over and over again!"

"I know, right? Well, thanks for at least bringing me onto the show."

"Nice to have you here!" she said, waving back at him when he got up and left. The crowd cheered and clapped. "Now we'll, uh, cut to commercial break to give me a chance to work out what else we're gonna be doing this episode. But don't run out of the studio yet, 'cause you're gonna get _free stuff!_" Some lady came out from offstage, wheeling over a shopping cart filled with giant naked Rei dolls. "There's more in the back, people!"

"WOO!" the crowd screamed!

"So stick around."

Now, this was some real news! That day, a work of real-life science fiction occurred. It couldn't have been a hoax, for a man would never waste his time forging something like this. Maybe Hideaki Anno had some sort of special psychic powers, contacting the aliens but he continuously denied that. Did it have a purpose? Nobody was allowed to touch it until the scientists finished their examination of the thing.

As this strange thing astounded the planet, something stranger yet was just on the horizon.

- Chapter End -


	2. L  Two Humans with Extraordinary Powers

**CHAPTER TWO: THE HUNTER AND THE HUNTED**

**~LAHARL**

"And now it's time for a special episode of-"

Laharl groaned, changing the TV channel. "There's nothing good to watch on this thing!"

"Why...did you break...into my apartment?" Under him was a couch, as well as an angry young man being sat on. "And why the hell are you on me! ?"

"Do you have a death wish?" he snarled. "I could kill you right now!"

"Oh, really? Do you even know who the hell I am? !"

"If you're so great, why don't you just push me off of your back?"

"Good question!" He sat upright easily, flinging Laharl off.

He landed safely on his feet, drawing his sword from out of nowhere! "That's it! You're dead!"

His baby blue Hellsing outfit and brick red hair began flowing as if in the wind! In his fist there arose flaming red power! "FACE MY VULCAN BLA- hey, are you by chance the guy who just swept through and demolished the entirety of South America? I-I heard it on the news!"

_He's right!_ Laharl started to sweat, to his surprise. _I could just kill him, but could I make him my new underling? I see he has a lot of power himself, just by the sheer energy and willpower stored up in a single fist!_

"No! Of course not! I could never get to THAT guy's power level!" he lied.

"Hmph. Well, then, you've got no business messing with me! I'm Adell, demon hunter, and you, vile demon, are finished! FACE MY VUL-"

"I'm not even a demon!" he assured, waving his hands around. "I'm just...a human boy with extraordinary powers!"

"...Wow, a guy like me! So am I! Heh, you must be misguided!" Adell put his hand to his forehead. "I sense the presence of a high-power demon in the area, I just know it! And I could've sworn it was you!"

_He's so trustworthy,_ he realized, _not like Etna, or even Flonne. THIS is someone I can exploit! But only if I follow along with his stupid ideas. Then I can eventually have a full-fledged servant! AAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA_

"Well, I could help you search for said demon," Laharl suggested, "with my ice powers. I could even show you right now, if you need proof."

"Nah, that's okay! I trust you!" Adell was suddenly cheerful. "Want something to eat while you're here? I've got some fruit snacks in the cabinet!"

"I'm not hungry, but...is it alright if I stay at your place for a while?"

"Sure. Wait, why?"

"...I left home in search of a renowned...fencing tournament. But my family lived in South America, so they died," he said emotionlessly.

"Gosh...I'm so sorry that had to happen to you." He pumped his fist. "All the more reason to find that demon and kick his ass, for the sake of all the people and animals who died! Don't worry, kid, we'll find that demon someday!"

"Sure. Also, my name's not 'kid'. It's Laharl."

"That's a nice name. Is it really South American?"

Laharl sighed. "Yes, it means 'springtime'."

"Looks like I learned something today," Adell said with a smile. "Okay, let me set up the guest room for you. You can just get anything you need here, Laharl!"

"Gee, thanks. No hard feelings after sitting on you?"

"There were some at first, but we're cool, right?" Adell gave a thumbs-up before backing into the hallway.

Laharl plopped back onto the red couch, relieved. He'd lied his way over to a new opportunity! His future was looking good. He reclaimed the remote control and changed the channel some more.

"...On a strangely less tragic note," some guy said, "there appears to a large pale naked girl on devastated Chilean shores." He turned around to the image onscreen. "Why no clothes! ? Somebody put some clothes on this thing!" The blurred-out spots on the image were now covered by a revealing black leather jumpsuit. "Much better," the man said, to some laughs from the audience.

Adell wandered back into the living room, holding a plate with a couple of steaming teacups on top. "The bastards," he muttered, setting the plate down on a glass coffee table. "Makes me sick how all the TV comedians have started riffing on these things, like they're nothing! They think they can just joke about this giant naked Rei when the continent right below us has been completely decimated! ?"

"Yeah, I think death is pretty funny, too. They missed an opportunity!" Laharl said.

"Th-th...that's not what I mean! I mean that these guys should get serious and stop ignoring it!"

"Calm down, Adell," he said. "Here, just sit down, and we'll both watch these insipid television programs, and relax."

"B-but I can't! I don't even LIKE the Colbert Report! You can't make me!"

"Just relax..." He started rubbing Adell's back, coaxing him into sitting down with him. "And here, you can have the remote, too."

He looked away, to talk to himself. "Man...this boy's so kind, even in the most dire and painful of circumstances! This is the least I could do for him. Hell, he might even be sent into a spiraling state of depression if I don't just stay by him!"

_Man, this guy doesn't even know how to think right!_ Laharl thought, grimacing. _An easy pawn to capture. If I can just use the monster-taming techniques Flonne - thank you for once - forced me to learn, I'll have a team in no time!_

"Ah, here's a neat-looking show!" Adell exclaimed, coming to a program's theme song. "Looks like that Flipping-Out show thing. Better than those comedians," he remarked.

A guy continuously said "aaa" in the background as a few people showed up onscreen. First up was the blond-haired and fancily-dressed Axel, as shown by the name below his picture. "Hey, it's Axel in the hizzy fo shizzy!" the same guy doing the background vocals said, set to video footage of him spinning an electric guitar around.

Adell's eye twitched.

The second member of his team was a smiling old guy named Bill. "Axel's crazy," he said to someone on his cell phone with a frown.

The third member was Renamon, a tall yellow-and-purple digital fox creature. "Why am I working for this guy?" she asked herself, rubbing her chin.

The fourth member was Spyro, a short purple dragon. "We are gonna flip this house like pancakes for breakfast," he announced, walking under some scaffolding.

Axel had to take a deep breath at the end to end with an extra big, "FLIPPING OUT WITH AXEEEEEEEEEEL!" The logo for the series appeared, saying "FLIPPING OUT" with a house inside of the 'O'. Oh, and also it said "WITH AXEL" in a completely different font below that.

Adell clenched his fists and began to shake. "Now, now, Adell," Laharl cooed, trying to keep him sitting down. "We can just change the channel, and then you'll never have to look at Renamon again."

"Axel...no..."

"Now, let's just-"

"**NO!**" Flames literally erupted from his body, pushing Laharl away! "LEAVE IT ON THIS CHANNEL SO I CAN PUNCH HIM!"

"...That won't solve anything! It's just stupid! Why do you-"

"_FACE MY VULCAN BLAZE!_"

Suddenly, everything but him, the TV and a square of land faded away. All at an extremely high speed, Adell punched the TV so hard that shockwaves emanated from his very fists! After five punches he leaped into the air and slammed his fists down on the television set! Then he leaped backward and charged forward, fist-first, and then backflipped twice, hitting the TV twice with his feet! Then he charged up his fist with amazing blazing power, the kind some demons only dream of, and gave it an uppercut! Then, as sparks fluttered around the airborne TV, Adell raised his fist...and it exploded!

Everything went back to normal, and the TV fell down in front of him. According to the numbers hovering above it, it had taken...1498 damage. It was badly beaten, but still fully intact.

_Wow...such an amazing feat..._ Laharl was speechless. _Wait, it only did 1498 damage! I can do SO much better!_

"What kinda TV _is_ this! ?" Adell complained. "Damn, and after all that buildup! Laharl, your turn!"

Laharl re-drew his sword. "NIGHTSEV- waaaaait, why were we doing this again?"

"To destroy the TV, remember? It's the only thing on which I can release my irrepressible rage!"

"What's so bad about this show, anyway?"

"Fine, just watch."

The TV, miraculously still on, showed Axel driving a car whilst wearing a huge-collared white jacket and no shirt. "Axel, I just don't feel safe when I'm riding with you in the car," Bill said, sitting next to him.

"Well, sure! I'm not the best driver," Axel said with an irresistible smile, raising one huge eyebrow.

"Well, no, I don't mean that. I mean, your collar is just _huge!_ How can you watch the road with_ that_ on?"

"Simple, I-"

_BOOM_

"HAAAAA!" Laharl boomed. "That was hilarious! They just drove into the nuclear power plant! See, now Axel's dead. You don't have to worry anymore. ...Hey, I thought this was gonna be a reality show!"

Adell folded his arms. "If it's not Axel trying to make himself look good, it must be."

"Hey, did they just cut to nighttime?"

"Didn't wanna show Axel's face burned off, I guess."

"And that would've been hilarious!"

A perfectly-fine Axel and Bill were standing on the curb, giving hitch-hiking thumbs-ups to passing drivers. "Hey, can't we get a ride with the cameramen?" Bill asked.

"Heh! No way! Everyone knows the cameraman is never really supposed to _be_ there! I mean, they're hanging around at every angle, sure, but you're not supposed to _ride_ with them!"

"Hey, Joe, can I ride in your van?" Bill asked the cameraman filming that scene.

"Sure!" They ran over to a briefly-shown van in the grass, with the camera turned backward to a shrinking Axel and some other cameramen.

"Hey, wait! You can't just do that!"

"Sure I can! Have a good time freezing to death, Axel!" The van started up and drove away.

"Wait, no! You can't leave me like this! At least lend me your cell phoooooooooone!" Now shown in some other camera was Axel crying.

"See?" Laharl said. "The show's not THAT bad. I don't know what your grudge is about, but look, Axel's sad and abandoned!"

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Adell relaxed a bit.

"Coming up on Flipping Out With Axel!" Axel said, leading viewers into the commercial break with colorful graphics.

"Axel sucks!" said a little pink-haired girl.

"You're under arrest!" said the police, aiming at her with their guns.

The TV went black. "Hey, don't turn it off, Adell! That was getting good! Turn it on, or-"

"No way, man! That show sucks!" Adell barked. "And that last part really, really hurt me...here!" Adell put his hand to his chest.

"The police give you chest pains?"

He took a deep breath. "Listen, I know I'm frustrated...but that's probably because of the destruction of South America, plus this horrible, horrible show. I just need to forget all that. Besides, I've got a much better idea. Why don't we go out for a while, and get some smoothies?"

Laharl sighed. "I guess that's fine with me."

"Great, let's go." Adell pushed the decimated door open and headed outside.

* * *

They arrived at the Smoothie Warlord, a small shop at the local strip mall. A few people were lounging around in their parked cars, sipping fruity concoctions. "Smoothie Warlord? Feh! That's a stupid name," Laharl said.

"Hey, don't say stuff like that," Adell warned. "We haven't even seen the inside of it yet."

"That doesn't change the fact that Smoothie Warlord is a stupid name."

"Well, an opinion is an opinion. I've still got that demon-sensing feeling. The demon might be in here, so don't be afraid if I start fighting. Here, after you." He opened the door for Laharl, releasing a blast of air-conditioned air.

"It's so cold in here! It makes me wish I had a shirt on!" he said.

"You must be from one of those third-world countries where they don't wear shirts! I should've helped you earlier. Take my coat!"

"No!" He didn't want HIS dirty unattractive coat! "My scarf works just fine."

"Suit yourself. You'll be even colder when you have one of their smoothies! Just tell me what you want. You can sit here, while I order everything."

He slid onto a chair near the window. "Just get me a soda."

"Okay. And remember, just wait here."

"I'm not going anywhere!"

As Adell turned to start walking, he bumped into some rollerskating waitress, and the both fell backwards onto the floor! A white 1 was born from their collision.

"Ow! Hey, watch where you're going!" Adell said, rubbing his forehead.

"You want ME to watch where I'M going?" the blonde snapped. "You're the one who just came in! How was I supposed to see you when you just arrived! ?"

"Well, how was I supposed to see YOU when I was just turning around! ?"

"Look, man, just...apologize. Think of what would have happened if I were holding something!"

"YOU'RE the one who needs to give ME an apology!"

_I COULD tell them BOTH to apologize,_ Laharl thought, _but the Overlord wouldn't do that! Plus, it's fun to watch._

"You're the person working here, and you're also the one wearing such fragile and shaky rollerskates!"

She dusted her simple red, black-aproned dress off, standing effortlessly on her skates. "For your information, it's roller_blades_ that are shaky and fragile. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have customers to attend to..."

"And who said I wasn't a customer! ?" Adell leaped up. "Since I'm the paying customer, y-you could get sued! By me, Adell, demon hunter!" He tipped his hat stylishly.

"Do you always have to introduce yourself like that!" Laharl interrupted.

"Well, yeah! That's just my style."

Another employee-looking girl walked in, with really long black hair and a white headband under it. "Is there something wrong, zam?"

"Who's 'zam'?"

"...What?"

"Stay out of this, Laharl," Adell said, stepping forward. "This petty argument isn't something you should get involved in."

"What's going on, zam?"

"I said, who's 'zam'?" Laharl sounded annoyed.

"...I'm not talking to 'zam', zam."

"**I SAID WHO'S 'ZAM'! ?**"

"It's her verbal tic!" the other waitress answered. "Are you making fun of Yukimaru?"

"Yukimaru?" Adell repeated. "I don't really know Japanese, but I read enough manga to know that Yukimaru's a boy's name."

"Yes, that is my name. Stop...stop making fun of me, zam."

"Why do you keep saying 'zam'?" Laharl said.

"I'm going," Yukimaru said, walking away with a look of despair but a tone as bland and soft as snow. "Rozalin, surely you can handle this on your own, zam."

"You're running away just because of - ugh! Sometimes I just can't handle this job!" Rozalin got all up in Adell's grill! "You listen up, Adell. There's customers waiting for their smoothies, and unless you can get a grip, I'm kicking you out."

"Laharl and I did nothing wrong!"

"Keep me out of this!" Laharl roared.

"Okay, so maybe _I_ did nothing wrong."

"So you're saying that-"

"No, neither of us did anything wrong! We just came in here for some smoothies, and then you bumped into me!"

"_Who_ bumped into _who?_"

Adell put his fist up. "Accept it, Rozalin! You're the one who started skating in my general direction, therefore causing the fall! If only you were more mindful of your actions. And you know what else?"

"What?"

"You smell like a demon."

Rozalin gasped. "Demons have a smell! ?"

"Burned peas and mashed potatoes! But that's besides the point. For I, Adell, am a demon hunter!"

"We know that already!" Laharl intruded.

"And it is my duty to exterminate you!"

MUSIC PLAYED! (YOUTUBE LINK) /watch?v=jaHl725hKZ4 - It's "Spread Your Wings" from Disgaea 2's soundtrack!

TUTORIAL!

Everyone else evacuated, Rozalin teleported farther away, and Adell and Laharl had to crawl out of a blue portal to begin their fight. BUT WAIT! On the normally red-and-blue floor tiles there was now a suspicious yellow line between them.

"Damn, there's some yellow stuff on the floor," Laharl said. "That means we can't go past it!"

"Watch and learn, Laharl," Adell said. An area around him, stretching about five tiles outward and representing his movement limit, glowed bright red. It stopped three spaces forward, however, right where the yellow line was. "Hunh? That's weird. What are we gonna do? Rozalin's all the way over there!"

"And I can't run out the door, either!" she realized. "What is the meaning of this! ?"

"I've seen this kind of thing before," Laharl said. "First of all, look to your left. What do you see there?"

The in-game camera moved south-west until it became focused on a large, yellow-and-black cube. "It's a box!" Adell answered.

"That thing's called a Geo...wow, I thought it would be a pyramid-looking thing. I guess it's called a Geo Cube."

"That's some handy advice! How do you know so much about them, Laharl?"

"There's a lot of similar Geo Panels in South America."

"You used to live in South America! ?" Rozalin looked somewhat sorrowful.

"There's no need to get sympathetic. That's behind me now!" Laharl boomed. "Adell, Rozalin, you've got a problem on your hands. I really wanna see you two fight, so you should remove the Geo Cube that's causing this!"

"But how would it...?" Rozalin began.

"Have a look." The cursor moved onto the Geo Cube, bringing up a box of information.

_GEO CUBE No Entry_

"No Entry?" Adell looked shocked. "But that means I can't enter! H-how can we fight! ?"

"There's a couple of different solutions," Laharl said. "First, you can do things the old-fashioned way: kill it."

"I'll get right on that. Yah!" Rozalin whacked the thing from above with a convenient triple berry smoothie, doing 510 damage and exploding it. "That was simple," she remarked, twirling the weapon around in one hand and spraying smoothie juice all over them.

"Aah! Ow! It's in my eye!" Adell began frantically rubbing.

"Don't try to be cordial with me. The boundary has been broken, and it's about time we battle!"

"Not so fast!" Laharl pointed at the right side of the yellow line. "There's another cube, over there...and it's PURPLE!"

"What?" Adell was honest-to-goodness surprised! "How'd that horrible color get here without me noticing! ?"

"For your information, purple represents royalty," Rozalin huffed.

Laharl shrugged. "It's also preventing you from fighting...again. So what'll ya do?"

"Kill it!" Adell and Rozalin said at the same time. A Vulcan Blaze made short work of the cube, dealing 2085 damage this time. But this time, the yellow panels all turned purple, just like the cube.

"That's another rule of Geo Cubes," Laharl taught. "If they're not the same color as the panels they're on, their destruction will turn all of the panels under and/or around it into that same color! This also hurts any enemies on said panels."

"Sweet! I could strategize with this info!" Adell smirked.

"So can we battle now?" Rozalin wondered.

"Hell no! There's another cube on the left...and this time it's GREEN!"

Adell gasped! "Oh no. So you're saying we STILL have to learn stuff?"

"If you actually want to have a fight. You think I'M summoning all these Geo Cubes?"

"Well, yeah, kind of. No offense."

"None taken. But here, look at this cube in particular." The cursor moved onto it. As well as revealing that it had taken a bit of damage, it showed the following:

_GEO CUBE No Entry Invincibility_

"It's invincible!" Rozalin gasped. "We'll never fight at this rate."

"No, there's another simple way to get around this. If you can't destroy the Geo Cube, just move it away! Some attacks, like your Triple Strike, can do this," Laharl mentioned, gesturing to Adell, "but the simplest way to do this while conserving SP is to throw it away!"

"How did you know I have Triple Strike?"

"Well, you use fists, it's a fist technique...they just go together."

"I'll try! Unh!" Rozalin threw the green cube one space away, enough to remove its effect.

"Bravo, I guess," Laharl halfheartedly congratulated. "But one Geo Cube can never have more than one effect. The Invincibility is gone, but not the No Entry."

"Oh you've gotta be kidding me," Adell said, pinching his forehead.

To their right, there was a clear Geo Cube with a glowing orange orb in the middle!

"I...didn't expect that one to appear here," Laharl admitted.

"And since there's no invincibility effect, we can just destroy it!" Rozalin chimed. "Hyah!" A 582-damage whack of her smoothie, and the thing was gone. But when it exploded, all of the purple panels simply disappeared!

The whole place exploded with light! "What the?" Adell shouted, shielding his eyes. When the light cleared, the image of a flying old guy appeared from above. "Huh?"

"Ew!" Rozalin shielded her eyes again.

"This is new," Laharl admitted. "Well, the panels are gone. Your tutorial phase is now officially over! Go kick some ass. I'll be watching from back here."

"Wait, you're not helping me defeat my latest rival?" Adell said.

"Latest and GREATEST rival," Rozalin corrected.

"You're not great!"

"Eh...fine." To hide his immense power somewhat, Laharl grabbed a nearby rolled-up newspaper as his weapon. It drastically lowered his Attack and Intelligence stats. _Perfect,_ he thought.

STAGE START!

"Alright! We've got the first turn," Adell said, stepping back out from the weird blue portal. "Let me attack first, Laharl!"

"Chaining our attacks might do more damage!" Laharl pointed out.

"...Okay! I've set up things so that I'm about to use my legendary Soaring Fire attack!"

Laharl shrugged, now standing right next to him with a newspaper behind his head. "I'll attack after you. Let's get on with it."

"TASTE THE HEAT! SOARING FIRE!" Adell leaped into the air, took aim while he levitated for a second, and then punched in a fiery +-sign formation! He landed exactly where he was before. Rozalin was caught right in the middle of it, taking 1282 damage.

"Hey, why can't I do anything right now?" Rozalin asked, paralyzed for the most part and hurting all over. "THIS is a stupid way to fight!"

"Get used to it!" Laharl barked. "Super Something Attack! Die!" Rozalin was pelted by ice by his previously-described attack. It seemed to only do 404 damage.

"I had a feeling you would be much more powerful than this," Rozalin said.

"Oh, shut up! I just grabbed a stat-lowering rolled-up newspaper! You're getting low on health. One more turn and you're dead!"

"You're just lucky I hate Adell," she warned, running in back of the red-haired guy.

"Hey, where'd she go! ?" He looked around, startled.

"She just ran behind you, don't be stupid! A 'back attack' also does more damage."

"Gosh, there's so much about battling I didn't even know until-"

"Smoothie Splasher!" she cried, pouring out some of a strawberry smoothie all over Adell. As it mostly washed away, a levitating 1038 revealed the damage total. Rozalin later threw the cup offscreen.

"Aah! It burns! But it's so cold at the same time..." Adell shivered.

"Would you believe that was my FIRST special move?"

"Aah! No."

"Well...IT IS."

"Dah!"

"Quiet, you two! Just for that, I'm attacking already!" Laharl ran for Rozalin's back, and shouted, "Hurricane Slash!" He flew around Rozalin, creating a blue tornado around her. When she reached the top, Laharl was there to slice her with his newspaper! She fell down and showed a floating 268. "...Hmph. Resistant to ice, are you?"

"Well, I DO work in a SMOOTHIE store."

"Lemme warm you up...with VULCAN BLAZE!" Adell really put the hurtin' on Rozalin with his legendary twelve-hit move! It did a whopping 2560 damage to Rozy, who swiftly imploded!

"Hey, now that we've won -"

"Together!" Adell reminded.

"- we can do a victory jump!" Laharl suggested. "All together now..."

"HELL YEAH!" the demon hunter shouted, and they both jumped with a fist in the air! "And it looks like Rozalin dropped a Halberd!"

"No, that's just from the bonus gauge."

"Wha?"

"Hey!" Rozalin's disembodied voice roared. "That's not yours! It must have belonged to one of the customers! Give it back to its rightful owner!"

"No way! We won this thing, fair and square! And now YOU have to apologize!"

"I don't know if she can do that without a body," Laharl pointed out.

Suddenly Rozalin regenerated, clothes and all! "Phew," she sighed, wiping her forehead.

"Wait, she's not dead yet?" Adell's smiled faltered.

"Of course not!" Laharl said.

"O...kay. When did people start battling like this?"

"Who cares about Yukimaru's weapon, anyways? She ditched me, so I'm ditching her! I'm high-tailing it out of here!"

"Not before I kill you!" Adell bravely declared.

"Not before I summon my lackeys to kill YOU! _Rise, my demon servants!_"

From within the shadows, three mysterious, red-eyed demons appeared, their teeth gritted, their voices snarling. "Rar," one even declared.

"Laharl, you'd better find a more adequate weapon! That newspaper's just not doing it for ya!"

"No!"

- Chapter End -

_AUTHOR'S NOTE: All of the battling won't be like this. ...Just some of it. For a while. ...Yeah._


End file.
